IT TAKES AN OCEAN NOT TO BREAK.

my childhood spat back out the monster that you see
my songs know what you did in the dark / fall out boy
 
WOZZA, IT'S BEEN AGES. i'm trying to remember what was happening the last time i posted jesus omg. wah.
 
so in december i got into rutgers university! NEW JERSEY HERE I COME i'm really excited about it. m'going to major in gender studies and journalism.
 
velociriot has also been expanding, we're producing content every day which is amazing. this is a little itty bitty thing i made with my best friend and now it's living and breathing. woah, man.
 
also!!!!! i saw passion pitt play a show with ra ra riot and the joy formidable at lupo's providence in november! i went with my friend sam and the show was great, ra ra was INCREDIBLE, the joy formidable were good just not what i was feeling for the night??? AS FOR PASSION PITT OH MY GOD "take a walk" will never be the same b/c the live version is wayyyyyy better. a couple weeks ago, i saw the menzingers and la dispute in boston at the sinclair! THE MENZINGERS WERE INCREDIBLE AND SO WERE LA DISPUTE THE BEST FUCKING ENERGY punks are just the happiest fucking people i shit you not.
 
and now i have fall out boy tickets :333
 
life is good.
 
- amanda
courais.tumblr.com
velociriot.org

get high like planes

5 months ago - 1,192 views
get high like planes
M.I.A // paper planes
 
"Sometimes I think sitting on trains
Every stop I get to I'm clocking that game"
 

-full name: meera leigh homeway
- age: 21
- occupation: part time apprentice tattoo artist in dublin
- likes: high heels ("the higher the heel, the closer to god"). pop punk. a good tatt and a stiff drink. the pit at shows. sour candy. being smarter than everyone.
- dislikes: pies and tarts. slow nights. getting runs in tights. cold weather. the smell of petrol.
- bio: http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/collection?id=2084090
- how they're connected to New Temple/how they heard about it y'all will see it in the bio
- family: getting a seperate set heyoooo
- model [please refrain from using the same old, same old]: sky ferria
 
"Everyone's a winner, we're making our fame
Bona fide hustler making my name"
9 comments

i was like, heIl yeah, that guy can sing

6 months ago - 1,493 views
i was like, heIl yeah, that guy can sing
omg babies i missed you guuuuys. applying for college is HARD OKAY.
 
anywho this is short because i'm tired. i'll do the rest of october soon though :3
 
shoutout to @vampire-weakend and her AMAZING STORY
 
LANA DEL REY // american
 
9/26 --
 
HARRY;;
 
it’s after one in the morning when we get back to lou's flat.
louis throws himself on the couch and demands to be brought beer along with the good crisps from niall’s stash.
niall makes a fuss about it, but tosses a bag at louis’ and presses a cold bottle into the exposed skin on his neck.
louis yelps and niall settles on the couch with louis’ feet in his lap.
 
niall looks sweet when he’s tired, much younger than his age and even younger the way he hesitates before he asks, voice low,
“you alright?”
 
i shrug and reach across the space between us,
take a drink from his bottle.
“fine. we were good tonight.”
 
that gets a smile, but niall is always persistent.
“i know that, but...”
 
louis rolls his eyes and cuts off whatever he’s about to hear.
“..your roots need sortin’ out. want me to fix you up?”
 
niall runs his hands through his hair, letting the previous conversation drop.
“yeah, okay. not tonight.”
 

i sigh and get up in search of what happened to the six pack liam picked up
lou's looking at me like he knows exactly what's on my mind.
"oi, bugger off." he flips me the bird. whatever.
tosser.
 
the six pack's already empty so i make for the spot on the floor where mac and zayn are laying, liam's sitting on the old armchair, his feet on the small of zayn's back.
"room for me?"
 
MAC;;
 
harry's smiling his shy little english boy smile, so i roll over and let him settle between zayn and i.
zayn makes a fuss because he has to roll over some too and harry just grins,
“it’s not my fault i’m mac's favorite,” harry teases, hiding his grin in my shoulder.
 
that leads to zayn doing his spot-on impression of harry -
involving lots of shrugging, mumbling and pouting -
which has everyone in hysterics, as usual.
 
“you were lovely tonight,” harry whispers in the middle of it.
 
i make a bit of a face. "was nothing haz."
 
we'd gone to a club after their show -
harry had looked like a young jim morrison, wild curls and dark clothes,
sinner's smile.
 
and of course, everyone wanted to sleep with him.
 
the thing about harry is that after show's he's running only on manic energy
it's what's left of him and he doesn't last long.
 
liam had said to me earlier to enjoy the night,
he'd watch zayn, make sure he didn't f'uck up.
go looking for the hard stuff.
 
so i stuck by harry and niall.
louis was dancing with some boy.
niall had gone in search of beer, armed with liam's id.
 
a girl with wild blonde hair had come over,
taking harry's hand and dragging him, stumbling onto the dance floor.
 
i'd followed them, acting out a familiar scene
(although i used to do it more with zayn,
back in our new york days)
cried something about "f'ucking my boyfriend."
 
and the girl had left.
harry nods, if only to have something to do and turns his head, catching zayn's eyes in the process.
zayn has that brooding look on his face that drives louis absolutely mad.
 
"are we going home tonight?" zayn asks, across harry, who's closed his eyes now, resting his head on zayn's shoulder.
 
harry shakes his head, groaing.
"noooo. everyone stay here."
 
louis laughs and says "thanks for inviting everyone over my flat."
 
harry grins, stupid and loose like he always is when he's exhausted and a little drunk.
"welcome lou. love you."
 
harry reaches over and twists his fingers into the fabric of my shirt.
his eyes are closed and he's laying across zayn's shoulder like he's about to fall asleep.
 
i try not to think about it and focus my attention on the movie liam turned on twenty minutes ago.
 
-
 
i wake up sore from sleeping on the floor with a very heavy harry spread across my stomach.
 
he looks infinitely younger when he's a sleep that i almost feel guilty for waking him up.
 
almost.
 
"haaaaaz. get off. i have /work./"
he blinks. once, twice.
(he's got these huge green eyes, like saucers.)
"oh. sorry mac." he pauses and looks pensive. "what time is it?"
 
"time for you to get off."
and it's a badly worded sentence ending with harry trying to suppress his giggles as he stands up.
 
he stretches like a cat,
shirt hiking up and exposing the pale line of his stomach,
the hint of his underwear.
 
(when zayn and i first met harry he looked much younger
child-like with a sweet face and flying curls.
 
he's grown quite a bit in the last year.
i used to call him "tummy styles"
but now even the girls at the magazine are making comments about
how fit he is.)
 
i follow him up and push my hair out of my face.
"shi*t. i didn't bring clothes."
it's almost 8 and the offices open at 9.
 
i don't have time run across the neighborhood and find clothes.
heIl, i don't even think i have clean clothes at home.
 
(i have to remember to write that on the list stuck to the fridge
L A U N D R O M A T.)
 
harry shrugs. "borrow something of lou's he's got better taste in fashion then some of the girls at our shows."
 
i laugh.
mostly because he's right.
 
"c'mon," harry says and tugs on my wrist,
pulls me into louis' room and he starts tearing apart his dresser.
 
"he's going to kill you."
 
harry grins, impish and like he's gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "no he won't. louis loves me."
 
i roll my eyes and harry throws a shirt at me.
 
"i'll walk you to work, yeah?"
 

 
perhaps the most surprising part of my day is when lo breezes into the offices on time.
she doesn't even have a beer.
and she looks like she's showered.
franks looks at lo like she's got three heads.
i love frankie,
but i have to bite back a laugh.
 
“g’day, staff - or should i say slaves?” she's got a grin like harry's, as if she's gotten into trouble and it's the greatest thing in the world.
 
i look up at her over my laptop, rolling my eyes. "journalism is pretty much a form of unpaid cotton picking."
 
lolita smiles and sits down next to me. i'm absently scrolling through my twitter feed, looking for updates on the election.
 
"what's up?" she asks.
 
"are you high?" i wouldn't be surprised.
 
(when we were younger, zayn used to sometimes get an odd job.
he'd come home bright and early with food for the week, smiling like i'd never seen him smile before.
 
he always reeked of weed. but those were also some of the best weeks we had, growing up.)
 
she laughs and i grin back. we get shot a look from lula and it only makes us giggle more until i shake my head, clearing my thoughts.
"no but really..."
 
“why you assumin’?” she asks.

"you’re on time.”
 
lo smirks. "in that case - no, i wish."
 
i nod, look back at my screen and see something about colbert's new site about "mention of ra pe".
i jot it down in my little book.
 
"hey mac?" lo asks and this time her voice is quieter.
 
"yeah?”

“tell me,” she pauses and looks - confused? conflicted? “what are people sayin’ about me around here?”

i smile a shi*t-eating grin
"since when does lolita marie presley care what others think about her?”
 
in fact, lo's ability to not give a shi*t is one of the things i admire most about her.
she's very strong.

lo rolls her eyes and gives me a look. "just answer the question.”

so i shrug, not sure of what else to do. “you’re infamous, always were.”
it's true.
 
"is jj real mad?”
ah. so that's what this is all about.

he walks in, like the devil himself.
yawning and he looks exhausted.

“depends,” i say, slow and smooth. i take a drink of coffee. i brewed it in the kitchen, still a little hungover. lo reaches over and takes the mug from my hands and takes a drink.
"are you two a thing yet?”

lo's eyebrows shoot up.
"excuse me?"

"don’t be so /modest/, lo."
i shake my head, grinning.
"you have to know jj’s crazy about you.”

she pulls a face. “oh, please,” she says, biting her nails
“i’m not his type. and he’s not my type—“
 
is she really the blind?
oh, poor girl.
 
jj could do her good, if she'd let him.
 
“/everyone/ knows it - heIl, i was with him when that lover of yours came in the party, asking for you that one night."
 
i shook my head, remembering how lost he'd looked.
 
“never seen him so pale and frightened. all for you. he’s such a sweetheart…”

“exactly,” she whispers and i wonder if she's talking to me or to herself.
“he’s just sweet. too sweet. he’d never—“

"but he does," insist. "and you do too."

lo gives me her evil eye and it's a sign for me stop.
"is he really upset though?"

still, i'm terrible at obeying orders.
"why don’t you ask him yourself, baby?”
LEFT ON THE CORKBORD IN THE STAFF ROOM
xoxoxoxoxo b there or b sq
 
@lovelygabriella @vampire-weakend @coriiiii @mclovinn @cestlula @emgeemtee if there's anyone i didn't mention, put it in the comments yo

current obsessions.

7 months ago - 927 views
current obsessions.
song: the wolves, ben howard
singer: rita ora
food: fruit
movie: control
tv show: the borgias (toss up with once upon a time, though)
actor: tyler posey
actress: kristen stewart (always)
clothing: LAYERS

PROVE TO ME I'M NOT GONNA DIE ALONE

7 months ago - 1,501 views
PROVE TO ME I'M NOT GONNA DIE ALONE
THE ANTLERS // putting the dog to sleep
TODAY WE'RE YOUNGER THAN WE'RE EVER GONNA BE.
FIRST STORYYYYYY HOLLA. i have so much to do i could puke wow.
 
omg this story is so lazy. ha i'm sorry. includes @mclovinn, @vampire-weakend @emgeemtee hope everything was done alright!
 

REGINA SPEKTOR // small town moon
"Stop! Stop, what's the hurry?
Come on baby, don't you worry worry
Everybody not so nice nice"
 

SEPTEMBER 8TH;;
 

"they're good!" lo shouts into my ear.
i look around and there's JJ,
trailing behind her, camera in hand as he snaps a picture of halflife on the stage.
 
"i know," i yell back and she rolls her eyes,
takes a hit off her joint
and holds it out, offering.
 
i shake my head,
"i'm driving those losers home. can't."
 
lo makes a face i can't quiet label.
somewhere between a drugged smile
and something else.
 
they're singing "letters to kerouac",
which harry wrote about the summer he came to the us,
and met zayn.
 
(he was trying to hitchhike across the country when we picked him up.
he was only going to stay until we got to baltimore,
then hitch a ride west.
 
but then it became a month
then three.
that's when we kicked him out and he got his own flat.
 
that's when he met liam and louis. niall came a few months after the band started.)
 
they play more songs. and lo and JJ disappear into the throng of people,
lost in a wave of her hair and the smell of weed.
 
harry’s presence on stage is electric. he’s like that all the time, but today especially.
harry’s sleeve seems to glow under the lights, colors standing out even brighter,
and how the cut of his torn up tank shows off the words tattooed across his ribcage -
harry has almost surpassed zayn in number of tattoos.
 
harry shakes his hair out -
it’s always a sweaty mess by the end of a show -
and says, “this one’s called ‘handjobs on the weekend’.”
he’s got that cheeky f'ucking smile on his face because harry styles will always try and flirt with an entire crowd of people.
“it’s about true love.”
 
the crowd cheers at that and niall cheers along with them before he counts them in.
 
this song is fast and dirty.
louis throws himself into it, falling to his knees on stage, head bowed over his guitar.
harry drops down to his knees in front of louis, pushing for louis to share the mic and shout his head off while harry sings,
/we don’t come at all./
 
the song ends and harry is still on his knees.
he turns himself to crowd and says, “we are london halflife. thank you from the bottom of our little hearts. if you buy one of our records, i’ll give you a handjob.”
 
liam steps in close to his own mic. “he’s joking. handjobs on your own time today, mates. g’night. we’re london halflife.”
 

 
they always play like they're magic, like they're -
one person, each one specific piece.
niall is the feet - sets the pace and moves them forward.
liam, the heart. his bass the connecting line between each of their parts.
and louis was the beast's hands, crafting their world with his rhythm guitar.
zayn's their eyes, he sees the vision of each song and drives it on his twelve string.
harry's the soul and the mouth that speaks it - instinct driven and naturally charming.
 
it was the only time i felt removed from my brother.
we were always so close - the best of friends,
each other's only salvation in a darkness that only the other
could understand.
 

 
i remembered the day the boys became blood brothers.
harry had a scarf tired around his head
- or was it a tie? something with the shine of silk -
his green irises overwhelmed by enormous pupils.
 
zayn had a bowl burning,
(our apartment stunk of weed for days after)
and niall had been taking shots off louis's stomach.
 
liam was nursing a beer,
the fourth of many.
and i was sitting on the counter -
an observer.
 
harry was singing, low and seductive, his perch on the table,
where he'd been laying, watching the fan
spin round and round.
 
niall was tapping a skittered drumbeat on my second-hand coffee table with his palms,
louis lying on the floor and plucking zayn's guitar.
 
when harry jumped off the table.
he grabbed a big knife from the block, glinting silver in the late afternoon august sun.
 
he moved like an animal, limbs wild and fast.
everyone moved around him like planets in orbit.
they were so intune,
each one piece of a whole.
 
"mates forever, yeah?" he asked, breathless
and raised his palm.
 

 

i help them pack their equipment.
(liam always jokes if i wasn't zayn's sister he'd feel obligated to pay me for their help post-show.
 
the boys are meticulous setting up before the show,
determined to create their own world,
louis and harry especially determined to make everything
perfect.
 
but after shows - they're spent,
lost and without soul, like the music has taken everything from them.)
 
so we pack their shit up into louis's shit car
and i drive, hands on two and ten
while zayn sits next to me,
and the boys doze in the back, all piled on each other.
 
"can we get drinks?" niall asks and i roll my eyes.
(he's been in the states of six months and still gripes over the drinking age.)
 
niall yawns and throws his arms out,
hitting louis in the face -
who makes a big show of it, crying out and shouting,
“niall, you fiend, i like it rough, but you’ve gone too far.”
 
harry (who is underneath louis, his legs on liam's lap)
bites louis's shoulder. "oi! no need to be so loud lovebirds."
 
it's liam who speaks up, answers niall's question,
offers up his flat for the post-show hangout
“we could watch some films, yeah? we’ll get you sh!tfaced for free?”
 
everyone hums their agreement and i look over at zayn who's yet to speak.
 
i don't have any energy to chase my brother around town -
and harry's exhausted (louis will go where harry goes)
and niall will say yes to anything that promises him beer and food -
it's all on zayn.
 
who looks at me like it's absurd that he would say anything other than yes.
i try not to let my sigh of relief be too loud.
 
a little over a year in b'more and i'm still waiting for my brother to f'uck up.
 

SEPTEMBER 12TH;;
 

there's a staff meeting at the magazine that i only stay for an hour at
lo's tearing everyone a new one
and i'm too hyped on frustration
(some kid in ohio's just been kicked off his football team for kissing his boyfriend, my twitter feed informs me)
 
so i give lula a pointed look while franks and lo dig it out -
shouting about gumballs and sh!tty article on a candy store -
and take my leave.
 
it's easy to leave the staff meetings.
as the only political person on permanent staff,
i pretty much have full run of the entire department.
 
we get interns often enough for my full title to be
"political editor"
but they all go on to bigger publications.
 
i don't because i'm lucky enough to have this job.
lula and lo are the only ones who know i dropped out of college.
i owe them everything.
 
(i try not to think about it.)
 
i put on the gits to fit my stormy mood because i'm in the mood for something loud
and let mia zapata’s gravelly voice and the thrashing guitars help write an article to go on the blog in record time.
 
an essay on contrasting high school football stories -
the girl quaterback in florida and the poor gay qb in ohio.
 

 
i end up going to lunch out with frankie,
and wander down to the cafe where louis works.
he throws franks a dangerous wink after we order
and i roll my eyes, grabbing her by the arm and calling as i drag her away,
"break up with your boyfriend first!"
 
we get coffee and paninis
and i let frankie b!tch about lo.
 
she has to get it out and i don't know if it's true,
but frankie is the closest thing i have to best friend.
(i don't know if i'm hers though.)
 
i tell her that it's just lo -
and that it's annoying but,
it's lo and we're not gonna get anywhere by yelling.
 
(i do tell her to stop drinking lo's beer though. that's asking for a fight.)
 
she laughs at me and says,
"whatever. you're good with how the conventions bit looks yeah? you hardly got a word in before you left."
 
"it's great, stop worrying about it," i assure her
and wonder if i even looked at the section.
 

- x. mac.
5 comments
i wanna make you sick you wanna lick my.... wounds.
FIONA PLEASE THAT LINEEEE. life idol fiona apple ect ect. anywho - so today i got biT BY INSPIRATION FOR MAC so i'm writing it all down now, excuse the mess that is my thought process. btw, listen to title fight's new album pls.
 
FIONA APPLE // limp.
 
WHADDUP THIS IS MAC CASSIDY
 
personality: kind of quiet, doesn't talk about her personal life, very much the mum-type. takes care of people. doesn't take care of herself but doesn't take bullsh!t either. she will call you on your sexist sh!t man.
 
playlist: bit.ly/UnJc09
 
family: mum, georgdina cassidy. deceased.
- brother, zayn cassidy. 21. ex-dealer, part time bartender. trying (and failing) to keep it on the straight and narrow. [ZAYN MALIK]
 
friends: harry styles. 19. english transplant with an expired visa and a devil's smile. zayn's best friend. inked and the lead singer in halflife - the band he and zayn share.* [HARRY STYLES]
- louis tomlinson. 21. general twat but harry's roommate and rythmn guitarist in the band. not really a twat, but mac and he tend to but heads. openly bi. [LOUIS TOMLINSON]
- niall horan. 18. irish f'uckwad. baby of the group that mac kind of adopted. he's like her kid brother. lives with liam and is the drummer in the bad. total sweetheart, but naive. [NIALL HORAN]
- liam payne. 20. actually a golden retriever but not really. he's the dad to mac's mom. plays bass in the band. absolute darling [LIAM PAYNE]
-lolita presley. 24. hot mess. but mac loves her. and maybe okay, yeah she has a "fix it" problem and maybe her boss was her new project but now they're kind of friends and it's pretty awesome. [KAYA SCODDERS] @vampire-weakend
 
* = RE: the band. for reference of sound, listen to brand new, title fight, cap n jazz
 
xxxxxxxxx
amanda
8 comments
i listened to my ipod today so these are just my last.fm scrobbles w/e
http://www.last.fm/user/eccedentesiast-
Comment

eyes cast down

8 months ago - 2,148 views
eyes cast down
+ Full Name mackenzie 'mac' cassidy
+ Age 21
+Neighborhood reservoir hill
+ Position on staff contributor - people, i guess??? could there be a politics option?
+ Style little punk, little 'hipster', fond of simple colours and classic designs
+ Bio: mac grew up with her mom and her brother in spanish harlem new york city. her mom was once part of 'the life' - when their mom was eleven, she was run away and taken in by a pimp. she had mac's brother, zayn when she was sixteen and mac when she was seventeen. she escaped when mac was six months old. they lived in poverty for a long time, their mom desperately trying to pull her life together.
 
mac always had a hard time keeping track of things. she had to make sure her mother was studying for her ged, that zayn was staying out of trouble and taking care of her own grades in school. mac's always had a passion for politics, for the rights of people like her mother and other women, for marginalized races and genders. so when she went to university, she studied women's studies and journalism. which was awesome until her mom died and zayn got busted for dealing.
 
so she dropped out. forced to help zayn get his life back on track, they moved to baltimore. a new start and a new life. she's found a home at the magazine, covering stories and making friends.
 
+ Likes sweaters, punk and hardcore music, killer shoes, going to shows, tattoos, drunkenly arguing abortion politics, cooking, street art
 
+ Dislikes republicans, alt country music, american football (not the sport, the band), talking about her mom, getting her brother out of trouble
 
+ Status single
 
+ Model leya lewis
 
@vampire-weakend @emgeemtee ty for letting me do this so late alex! xxxx
7 comments